Its - okay !!

Its 1:30 pm and i had just finished reading my bro's post. I could easily smell the desperation he felt after loosing the semis and the match for third place .. !!
Well it dint surprise me . When you rub your ass if and it doesnt pays obviously it hurts . As far as i have known Anav .. He is a silent passionate being .. By the word silent i mean avoid of PDC [Public display of Character]. I barely know what to write in here .. But dude if you are reading this Just wanna say to you .. Gear up for greater matches .. Complex and realtime Tough and the only key to win is probably keeping up the spirit after every loss

Thought of the day !!

People say I think a lot. And I cannot agree more. The one obvious and frequent thing I think most about is love. Since the days of my first year at University, love has intrigued me. It has always been fascinating for me. I had been observant and keen to get to the nitty gritties of one of the most versatile and devastating artifacts of human personality/psychology. At first, love was all about joy, all about stupid little things that made my heart jump, all about smiling for no reason at all, all about having daytime fantasies which lead to nowhere. It was more about dreams and impracticalities.
Well an year and a half went by and it changed its definition like any other stimulus invoking its own response on my life. It wasn’t about any of those things anymore. Then, it was about those sleepless nights, those long dark hours filled with nothing but a feeling of profound loneliness. I remember those days like yesterday. I had never felt so lonely before or after. I felt as if I will never have the courage to love ever again. I felt as if probably an apocalypse was on its rise. It had become more about illogical emptinesss.

I realize that the cruelest thing anybody can do to you is to drain the love inside of you. But life isn’t so cruel and after all we all are humans. It always teaches you new ways to love. With every passing day it teaches you more about what love really means, what it really expects out of you. But it can never teach you enough. And I guess nobody can ever learn enough about it. I was sad that I sought love and didn’t get it. But today I realize how little I knew about love then. Today I see love in so many different dimensions. I realize its more to an individual glory than communal harmony. My mom calls me up daily and talks almost about the same thing every day. Why does she do that? It’s because she loves me. Sometimes I get irritated and get a little ratty. But I realize she only does that because she loves me in a way that I can never understand. The least I can do is to appreciate that love. And I do. Could I ever have loved that girl more than my mom loves me? Not in a million years. The first thing a baby learns in this world is love, the love it shares with its mother. Whenever you feel sad, you talk to a friend, and that makes you feel better. Isn't friendship a kind of love too? Well the question does seem to answer itself.

When I think about these things, all that happened doesn’t seem like a big deal anymore. I realize that there is so much of love in the world around me, that I don’t really need to go looking for it anywhere. Love has it's own way of catching up with you. And as far as finding that special someone is concerned, well, I can wait.

The Home Feeling (Part – one)

ADJUSTMENT

Finally after 8 months I am back home. Well it wouldn't have been possible for me to get back home; had it not been for Swine Flu. Number of people getting affected with swine flu was increasing at an alarming rate in Pune. As a result schools and colleges were asked to shut down for a week. That was how i got a chance to get back home. This made me both happy and sad. Happy coz i was going back home after a time elapse of 8 months; Sad because i may not be able to stay there for more than 4 days. If you ask me its such a pain in the ass to accomodate 4 days for travel in a 8 days round-trip schedule. Yeah it takes me 40-45 hours to reach to my native place Bhagalpur. But the feeling of being with mom and dad had overridden every little pain that actually crumbled in my mind.

The onward journey was such a piece of freak. We were a group of 11 guys traveling together to Bhagalpur. Two things made itself very clear before we set off. First the journey is gonna be no piece of journey/travel I had made till date. Secondly its possible to do practically everything on the train. Thank god Indian Railways.

11th August was the Travel date. 20:50hrs was the scheduled time for the train to depart. Moreover 11th was a ***ing Tuesday which meant i had to go to office too. So it was pretty sort of clear that its gonna be tough. I started to make my preparations a day well in advance. “Are you gonna come with me to office 2moro.” I keyed in the sms and sent to TG. [kk.. i think i need to make an introduction here. TG is my Project partner and we work together at TRDDC.. apart from that a sweet buddy but too organised :)!! btw TG stands for Tejal Gajare.. though i prefer the first name.. TG sounds kinda kool .. lol :-) ]. I knew taking into account the conditions in Pune regarding H1N1.. the answer being 'no' seemed more likely to me; I was just waiting for an official confirmation. And as expected she said she is taking a leave this week. AS had already left for Indore a day before.. which clearly elucidated the fact that i was going to office alone.[kk..time for another introduction.. AS is my second project mate..and a very good friend of mine who deserves credit for my in time submissions..btw AS stands for Ankit Soni :-)] Which meant i had to drive 15kms ..:-(.!!.. But then i knew if i take a leave i will be spending whole day in my apartment dozing off..

I took leave early that day; and to my surprise my GL was more than happy to grant me one. All thanks to H1N1. Even a virus can be a blessing in disguise; i never realized until that day. I reached back Kothrud by 5:30pm . There were somethings to be taken care of. First and foremost i had to get some Project related e-books from TG. So heading to her place was my foremost priority secondly i had to meet AD too as he was also leaving the same day. I wrapped up my enterprise by 6:30 pm and was back to my apartment. I had exactly one hour for shower,packing, writing some mails etc etc etc.. After an action packed one hour finally i was ready. By 8:15 pm we were station. By “we” in specific i mean all 11.


What I saw at the platform was a complete mess. A freaking disaster in actual words. A mob waited to welcome me. I thought as if some celebrity was gonna come to Railway station. “Dude, is some one special visiting Pune”, i asked KK. “What make you say such ??”, KK replied after a quick scan. I knew his scan was to bookmark some chicks. He always did it in first place whenever he visited Railways station. “No .. just the crowd made me awstruck”, i answered him. He was still busy in his thefty scan. He seemed less interested in my words and more interested in two chinkis standing less than a metre ahead “You Dickhead.. slacky mind.. Asshole ..i am talking to you..”. And this time he listened .. he had to “Yeah yeah .. i am here .. sorry no its just the people who are boarding the same train”, he replied.. “What the fuck man .. !!! means how even so many people can have a thought to get into a train.. means the crowd is massive..”i cried “Well thats Indian Spirit .. ADJUSTMENT and you will see it for yourself.. cmon lets get ahead”, kk seemed less worried than me and that was pretty much evident in his words. I took out my tickets and looked over it again only to earn myself a re-assurance; i could hear myself saying, “yessss !!! I have a confirm ticket” , the moment meant a lot to me.

We moved ahead to grab our seats. We had 8 tickets confirmed while 3 were still on waiting. We planned to get the entire lobby of 8 for ourselves so that we coud actually get 11 peoples going. Next one hour KK and me both of us were very busy negotiating with co – passengers offering the best feasible and possible deals we could have. After making a series of swaps and exchanges we managed to secure 6 place altogether. “Oh i could do well in sales & marketing”, i mumbled to myself. The only 2 person whom we couldnt get an another seat were a oldage couple. “Not bad”, KK said. Within one hr the crowd had settled in. And so was uncle and aunty who fell asleep very soon.

It was almost 11pm by the time we settled in totality after making so called ADJUSTMENT; as quoted by KK. I had to make a call to one of my friend so i just slipped to a more private zone where less of noise could be heard. After 15 minutes i came back to my place. To my surprise 6 of them were moving out.. “Where are you guys going ??”, i asked. “Bathroom”,all replied in chorus and then i reaized they needed a smoke and there wasnt a better place on train to smoke than a bathroom. I saw their arrangement. 2 guys watched one end while the other 2 the other. The remaining 2 shared the smoke. “God damn...”, i was amazed at their strategical and tactical skills. They exchanged their positions in cycles and 3 consecutive exchange and they all had a chance to smoke without getting caught. “Amazing guys”. Given a chance they would serve as excellent operational managers; I congratulated them. “ADJUSTMENT dude..adjustment”, someone replied. I smiled at them and left for my berth.

The day at office and so much of activity had weared me out. Hardly had i lied down on my berth, when i fell asleep. It was about 1:30am when i woke up. The train was making such a nasty noise that practically did away my sleep. The other 3 from my group were snoring off; while there was an active group of 7 guys who were still awake. “Arent u guys gonna get some sleep”, i asked them. “The party is still on buddy”, some one replied. It was dark and i wasnt able to figure out who was partying at 1:45 am on Train. I switched on the lights. I saw each of them having a 600ml Pepsi bottle with them. “Wtf people.... are you out of mind.. you are having a swig of pepsi at this part of time ??”, i asked them. “yeah why dont you have some”,one of them offered me. “Okay but i will have only a gulp..” i took the bottle brought it close to my lips .. i smelled something different. Something more than pepsi. I smelled liquor. “Are you out of your mind You guys boosing on train.. do you even know how risky it is ..You can be fined for it. !!” “ADJUSTMENT buddy adjustment”, “To hell with your freaky adjustment man.. this is limit ”, i replied; plugged in my headphones and pulled over the sheet. I had too many things to deal with and dealing with them was low down in my priority..I was damn tired.

The next morning i woke up. I shouldnt say it morning.. rather it was 2:30 noon. I saw the rest 10 upright on their seats. “Would you like to have some lunch ?? ”, KK asked. “No thanks.. Humans do brush and eat... huh !! btw werent you guys caught last night...”i asked. “nah. Nay...ADJUSTMENT bro adjustment”. That left me a smile on my face. I looked around myself. I could figure out so many adjustments. 3 people were trying to share a seat that allowed only two. The guy below me was tryng to send a sms for last 15 minutes. The network sucked. The tea seller was trying hard to get some much wanted promotion for his tea. I peeped out of the window, the sun was trying hard among the clouds. Even i was trying hard to get along the travel. Everyone around me was trying hard to make some or the other kind of adjustment. “Huh Huh Huh!!!” I smiled at myself and left for the washroom. I was damn Hungry and in no mood to make even slightest of ADJUSTMENT.

The Party

This is a quite a old page from my diary. This page seemed forlorn until today. So what was today that loomed this page large to my memory. To be very exact it was a party not the usual one; but the unusual one. Yes the unusual one ; not the one that we are acquainted with; but the less common one for some of the people reading this. This was a DOPE party. Ohh c'mon people neither am I not a jerk nor do i Dope.If at all you are having such thoughts [:P]. "Pass on the joint" as one of my friend said; i remembered the word - it seemed Déjà Vu. I thought "Have i heard it before. Where where where...whoa this is nuts man . I can't remember and IT happened to me then". Something like this happened before ?? As the smoke in the room was getting dense Metallica getting intense and people getting high - i noticed some vivid Pictures unveiling itself. I remembered the first party I attended. Yes the First Party - the first party.

11th August 2006, 9 days after i had landed in Pune. College was still 5 day behind schedule. The sound of the music was getting high. Room was smoke filled. A dimly lit bulb adorned the disc effect.Some cranky English tunes [which i had no idea then] was roaring. People were high. Two of them were sobbing; some were on a continuous roar of laughter[guess some nitrous effect]. Two were on their cell phones. I could see a whole lot of vivid face of Human character - perhaps i never imagined Life had this color too. As i sipped some coke in from my glass a whole new set of definitions fighting among themselves just unleashed. The definitions that were fighting for existence in my mind. The definitions of liberty; the definitions if party; the definitions of life.

I used to live on FC road then; a small paying guest accommodation rented by some of my old friend. Though the room was total wreck the warmth of people around me ; the feel of the same old days never made me feel home sick; I had 2 friends in PG and both luckily used to be my classmates when i was in high school. They had been living in pune for a year at least; and therefore had an advantage of knowing things better. This served my purpose coz i didn't have to hunt for a temporary accommodation. I was comfortable. I was enjoying. I was seeing things. I was beginning to understand that Life is more than being daddy's boy and mommy's lad. My admission to MIT pune was confirmed and so we decided to party. I thought we would go to some place with fine ambience; soothing music and palatable food. The idea excited me as i wasn't at too many places in pune. As the evening drew near the whole set of activity was evident in room. The bed were folded and the mattress were put on the floor. The dim light bulb was arranged and replace the brightly lit CFL. A music system was brought. Some of them were busy in fixing a bunch of wires making connections. They were swinking pretty hard "What is this.. Where we gonna sleep man"; i asked krist[name changed]. "Its a party dude.!!", he replied. "Okay is this all about party.. whoa whoa .. clear me brother. party in this wreck..have you lost it. Dude are u nuts"; i was getting crazy. Krist didn't seemed troubled. "Come outside; Let me get a smoke and i will explain You"; he brought me outside to a nearest tapri. He lit a cigarette and sucked up two puffed and offered me with a smiling face. "Are you freaked out man.. I don't smoke and you know that". " Sorry brother "; it just slipped put of my minds. "So are you gonna enlighten me about the party"; i was loosing my patience. "Oh yeah yeah.. see man we are gonna party get some good whisky.. smokes joints and some metal music and of course if we don't pass away may we can have some food too..". "What the fuck...?????" i cried .. "is this a party you call. its a freaking piece of show man.. its simply weird.. its wrong"."This is what a party is.. tell me you gonna have a beer or whisky", krist had this brilliant smile on his face which pricked me and made me more uncomfortable. "Thanks dude. but just get me a fucking Coke..." "Is that all you want?? you sure", krist asked politely. "yeah tats all as for now". "Okay as you wish..", he said and left.


The room was getting dense. Smoke, small talks , music chats all sort of things. There were in all 7 guys including me. As i sipped a swig of coke.. i thought why was i even sitting there. I never wanted this sort of party. My parents never wanted this. I am not drinking nor was i smoking .. so why was i even attending it?? Why was i even sucking that bad air. I moved out i wanted some fresh air. "I know man. You are feeling awkward..I am sorry", krist walked up and said to me. I knew he was drunk. "Its okay man".. i said..

"Hey c'mon man.. Where are you lost??", Krist said.. we are missing you. Suddenly i woke up from my quagmire of thoughts "yeah yeah i am here just remembered something.." It was 2:30 am, Some of them had passed out while a some of them were on verge of it. "Strange..!! ", I uttered and moved to my room to get some sleep. Its always a heavy feeling when you attend a booze party and you don't drink and smoke.. !!

Well we always have a choice. I made mine.. I knew i have to adjust. Living away from family teaches you a lot. It teaches you to accept something's happily. It teaches you to live without any grope. It makes you decisive. I have two set of friends - one set who takes pleasure in the type of party i described above while the other set enjoys moving out, music, food, ambiance; and as a mater of fact i respect both. I made some choices and i do not regret it. Its just over a course of teem you just see vivid shades of Human Life. Its just over a course of tym that you realize Life is more than the shell you have been.. It's less idealistic than you think and more realistic than you can imagine.

I BELIEVE ...

This post was not an original stuff from my side but as i started drawing to the end i realized this is something i believe; to be very specific this is an adaptation; adaptation from a mail. A mail from my very close friend. At first i thought i should discard as i do generally with forwards. But then i dont know something crawled up and i thought "How true this is "; and that very instant i thought i need to have this notion on my blog page. Because this is so close to me.

The life that i have lived so far has made me confronted with some facts. Infact a nasty piece of thought. Every thing has a proof. Ranging from Archimedes Principle to Life . Everything has a proof. A death certificate is a proof that we die while a birth certificate shows that we are born. In contrast to it Pictures shows that we lived. There has been a certain set of artifacts that actually evolved as i grew up. Slowly i started believing; i started assuming; I started redeeming; and more importantly I started Practising.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue, It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,No matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. The later could have devastating results.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done When it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. So get up shrug your dust and start walking.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
That you should send this to all of the people that you believe in, I just did.

I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.

IDLE .. zzzZZz!!

its 1:00 noon ; and what am i doing ?? a Wednesday probably should have been attending classes; but you know MIT ... it sucks. Though it's a raksha bandhan day MIT strongly believes in conducting classes. god damn MIT. I hate it for it. Some day i wake up and realize its a holiday only for the reason its so called "Ekadashi" and this morning i woke up and i was disheartened to know its no holiday. Well that is profound MIT... weird and an overall Bizarre. But to everyone's surprise i am in college ; typing this post ; why ??? because its lunch time and i am done as far as food are concerned.

I haven't been in a so called balanced calculations with my attendance. Most of the nights i stay awake late and end up missing my morning lectures; I try hard but eventually sleep has a lil more effect than my will to attend lectures. anyways who the hell cares :P Nontheless who the hell cared ever?

Its been a lil tuf to do away with the so called 45minutes of prestigious time that MIT offers us.. and so i thought let me scratch something .. As i am taking this swig of coke in the idea of bunking the next lecture feels a new boost to itself..!! Thank God the good college days that has made me more aquainted to more daring act than bunking classes .. !! At least that is one thing MIT taught me .. !!

Things around me seems more lazy than my frigging mind. The clock is showing 1:25 pm as for now and i guess its tym for me to leave this freak library and try out things in more open.
P.S Libraries are always freak.

Adieu for now catch ya later !!
P.s Gud day (atleats have a better than me )

Friendship day ... !!

FRIENDSHIP DAY HISTORY :

There is not much literature on Friendship Day history as we celebrate today. However, there are numerous folktales and several instance in mythological legends that shows that friends and friendship have been valued since the beginning of civilized world. As an intrinsically social creature, men love to make friends to further this process of socialization.

HISTORY OF FD IN US

Considering the valuable role friends play in our life it was deemed to fit to have a day dedicated to friends and friendship. The United States Congress, in 1935, proclaimed first Sunday of August as the National Friendship Day. Since then, celebration of National Friendship Day became an annual event. The noble idea of honoring the beautiful relationship of friendship caught on with the people and soon Friendship Day became a hugely popular festival.

Following the popularity and success of Friendship Day in US, several other countries adopted the tradition of dedicating a day to friends. Today, Friendship Day is enthusiastically celebrated by several countries across the world including India.

In 1997, the United Nations named Winnie - the Pooh as the world's Ambassador of Friendship.

HISTORY OF FRIENDSHIP IN BIBLE

The Bible, the primary text of the western civilization, reflects upon friendship as the bond that forms the foundation to human faith, trust and companionship. Following verses from the bible aptly portray the importance of friends:

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7

“Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
John 15:13-15

Besides, there are several tales from the Old Testament and the New Testament about the value of friendship and how true friendship is a treasure to unearth. A noticeable point is that, both the versions make a difference between the two broad meanings of friendship- one is a mere acquaintance, the other is a more affectionate relation.

In the Old Testament, Abraham is called the “friend of God” because of the intimacy of his relations. God speaks to Moses face to face “as a man…unto his friend” (Ex 33:11). The romantic friendship of Ruth and Naomi, the devotion of the subordinate Hushai for David, or the mutual relation between David and Jonathan - the Old Testament is replete with these interesting tales of friends and friendship.

In the New Testament, the relationship between Jesus and his disciples clearly depicts how human friendship can constantly grow. From being teacher and disciple, to lord and servant their relationship finally grew to an unparalleled friendship.

IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP IN MAHABHARTHA

In the famous Hindu epic ‘Mahabharata’, Lord Krishna demonstrates the many colors of friendship - affection, romance, brotherhood, protection, guidance, intimacy and even teasing. Friendship is all about these and much more.


Adapted from various source
ANSHU !!!

Friends ... !!! :)

Read this post upside down. The special way for a special being on a special day

Recession - Necessity of a healthy economy

RECESSION- THE NECESSITY OF A HEALTHY ECONOMY

When it comes to Economics there is nothing more to talk about other than RECESSIONS. This has been the most talked about topic in the recent days. This Article is an attempt o have a closer look on Recession. This Article is more in a Q/A format. So the first question

What Is Recession?

In economics, the term recession generally describes the reduction of a country's gross domestic product (GDP) for at least two quarters. The usual dictionary definition is "a period of reduced economic activity", a business cycle contraction. The GDP is assumed to be in negatives. This definition is somewhat unpopular with many economists as it does not take into consideration changes in other economic variables such as current unemployment rates or consumer confidence and spending levels.
To be Precise The United States-based National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER) defines economic recession as: "a significant decline in economic activity spread across the economy, lasting more than a few months, normally visible in real GDP growth, real personal income, employment (non-farm payrolls), industrial production, and wholesale-retail sales."
2nd most important question:

What causes Recession?

A recession is primarily caused by the actions taken to control the money supply in the economy. The Federal Reserve is responsible for maintaining an ideal balance between money supply, interest rates, and inflation. When The Federal Reserve loses balance in this equation, the economy is forced to correct itself. The Feds monetary policy of injecting tremendous amounts of money supply into the money market has kept interest rates lower while inflation continues to rise. Inflation refers to a general rise in the prices of goods and services over a period of time. The higher the rate of inflation, the smaller is the percentage of goods and services that can be purchased with the same amount of money. Inflation can happen for reasons as varied as increased production costs, higher energy costs and national debt.
In an inflationary environment, people tend to cut out leisure spending, reduce overall spending and begin to save more. As individuals and businesses curtail expenditures in an effort to trim costs, this causes GDP to decline. Unemployment rates rise because companies lay off workers to cut costs. It is these combined factors that cause the economy to fall into a recession.
These circumstances coupled with relaxed policies in lending practices making it extremely easy to borrow money can result in unsustainable economic activity and the economy coming to a near halt.
It is also said that recession can be caused by factors that stunt short term growth in the economy, such as spiking oil prices or war. However, these are mostly short term in nature and tend to correct themselves in a quicker manner than the full blown recessions that have occurred in the past.

Effects of Recession

An economic recession can usually be spotted before it happens. There is a tendency to see the economic landscape changing in quarters preceding the actual onset. While the growth in GDP will still be present, it will show signs of sputtering and you will see higher levels of unemployment, decline in housing prices, decline in the stock market, and business expansion plans being put on hold. When the economy sees extended periods of economic recession, the economy can be referred to as being in an economic depression.
About the only good thing about a recession is that it will cure inflation. The balancing act the Federal Reserve must pursue is to slow economic growth enough to prevent inflation without triggering a recession. Currently, it must do this without the help of fiscal policy, which is generally trying to stimulate the economy as much as possible through lowering taxes, spending on social programs and ignoring current account deficits.

HISTORY OF RECESSIONS:

The United States has encountered 32 cycles of expansions and contractions, with an average of 17 months of contraction and 38 months of expansion. Recession has a history of 1700’s. The great Depression is one among the most noted Recession.
The Great Depression was a worldwide economic downturn starting in most places in 1929 and ending at different times in the 1930s or early 1940s for different countries. It was the largest and most important economic depression in modern history, and is used in the 21st century as an example of how far the world's economy can fall. The Great Depression originated in the United States; historians most often use as a starting date the stock market crash on October 29, 1929, known as Black Tuesday.
The Great Depression:
The Great Depression was triggered by a sudden, total collapse in the stock market. The stock market turned upward in early 1930, returning to early 1929 levels by April, though still almost 30 percent below the peak of September 1929. Together, government and business actually spent more in the first half of 1930 than in the corresponding period of the previous year. But consumers, many of whom had suffered severe losses in the stock market the previous year, cut back their expenditures by ten percent, and a severe drought ravaged the agricultural heartland of the USA beginning in the summer of 1930.
The Great Depression ended at different times in different countries

1970’s Oil Crisis:
In October of 1973 OPEC stopped exports to the US and other western nations to punish the support of Israel, they realized the strong influence that they had on the world through oil. The immediate results of the Oil Crisis were dramatic. Prices of gasoline quadrupled, rising from just 25 cents to over a dollar in just a few months.

1990’s Recession:
Recession of the early 1990's was due to a drop in demand caused by a debt buildup in the 1980's by individuals, businesses, and the federal government. Apprehension caused by high structural unemployment of both blue and white collar workers slowed the recovery.
On October of 1987, later dubbed "Black Monday" the Dow Jones Industrial Average suffered an unprecedented loss of 22%. The collapse (larger than that of 1929) was handled surprisingly well by the economy and the stock market began to recover.

Early 2000’s Recession:
The Early 2000s recession was felt in mostly Western countries and had been predicted by economists for years, since the boom of the 1990s, which was accompanied by both low inflation and low unemployment. The collapse of the dot-com bubble, the September 11th attacks, and accounting scandals contributed to a relatively mild contraction in the North American economy.

Late 2000’s Recession (2008):
In 2007 the possibility of an economic crisis was suggested by several important indicators of economic downturn worldwide. High oil prices, which led to both high food prices (due to a dependence of food production on oil production) and global inflation; a substantial credit crisis leading to the bankruptcy of several large and well established investment banks and increased unemployment lead to a global economic recession.
There has been speculation about the present Recession to be ending by June 2009 but still a lot has been to seen.

BENEFITS OF RECESSION
In general, recessions are painful. Unemployment surges. Assets, such as stocks, plummet. People see their retirement nest eggs evaporate in front of their eyes. The benefits of a recession are long-term. It is mainly that a recession is a cleansing period that exposes and gets rid of much societal inefficiency.
For example, let’s take our current recessions. The investment banks like Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns have been destroyed by the credit collapse. While many people were laid off of work, those people’s labor was essentially be put towards an unproductive purpose. Those companies were taking excessive risk and leverage for unprofitable activities. It took awhile, but the deck of cards finally collapses. Now those laid off can find work in businesses where their work goes towards productive use.
In general, the white collar labor world has been filled with inefficiency. Rarely is the bus boy at a restaurant or the factory worker (unless he works for the UAW) grossly overpaid for inefficient tasks. But this has persistently been the case in the white collar world.
But with the current recession and the cost cutting that is necessary for businesses to survive, they take a hard look at their work force and see what is going on. Companies cannot afford to pay their CEOs $20 million a year if the CEO is really not adding that much value that a replacement CEO would bring for $1 million a year. Fresh out of college kids are often not worth paying $120k a year to have them do a bunch of meaningless research.
Recessions need to not let be spun out of control. We cannot allow for a deflationary spiral where perfectly good businesses are laid to waste because of short-term credit needs. Nevertheless, bubbles inevitably burst.
The tech bubble’s burst proved that you cannot just build a website and hope it will make millions eventually. Labor and capital was shifted out of the tech sphere and put towards more productive uses. Likewise, we have seen a huge bubble in credit-driven industries, which are primarily comprised of white collar labor. As these businesses get flushed out, many employees in these industries will have to find a new line of work that actually provides value to companies and society.

Conclusion:
Every event in history has a lesson in store for the mankind and so are these Recessions. These Recessions make us aware of the bubbles that we create in the market and are in fact a measure to create a stable market. The capital inflow in a market needs to be regulated. There is nothing malicious about the meltdown. Recessions are necessary as a cleanup activity. Same is the case with the computer programs which clean the garbage activity of the computer system ya antivirus programs which deletes some of the file but prevent our system to be affected by the dangerous virus Programs.

The weekly update

The weekend is on the roll... yeah as profoundly known as "TGIF".
"Thank God Its Friday". [ i do not how much i intend to bring out th meaning of the phrase into my very own life ]. As of now the week was quite a slacky one.
Monday was a usual Monday after Sunday ; nothing important; the usual boring routine..
Though one thing was very important about monday .. i decide to start with data interpretation..lol

Tuesday was a routine Office day [oh i forgot i visit TRDDC every tuesday as of now]. TCS is kool place to work. (atleast better than college..this was one of the notion thati could figure out.)
We were debriefed about our project.. The details were made aware to us. The day was with lot o studies to be made. The two thing about Tuesday that was evident
1st. I broke a chair that preciously belonged to TCS. [ha ha ha]
2nd. I felt what recession actually meant [coz it was made public that we would have to work wdout stipend for this term]

Wednesday.. was again slacky day in my diary.. Regular colleges.. oh yeah i forgot i installed netbeans on mah laptop[ is this worth mentioning..] well i dont have to many things to fill here for updates except nothingness

Thursday and Friday was a rest day for me; Thursday i didnt go to college coz i slogged wednesday night for making my project studies. Friday we were to go to movie Love Aaj Kal.
though the movie was a junk..the only thing that was right was that we were able to crack jokes on even serious dialogues of Saif Ali khan and Deepika padukone. By the word "WE" i mean to say 25 of us that made our way out there.
the event clarified one of the abstract fact - Bhushan is a good manager and bookie [lol "kidding"].
After the lunch .. i had been sleeping all day.. so in a nutshell the week wasnt a gr8 or a plethora of event ..

Anshu

New Divide

This is the latest song lyric from the latest song of the wonderful band Linkin Park.
This lyrics is simply awsome.. it marks the wonderful end of wonderful movie Transformers II.
A lyric worth listening ..

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow
And the ground caved in between where we were standing
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide

In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide
Across this new divide, across this new divide

The Transition

I am not sure about the title.. but lets see !! ;as I tread along probably i will figure out ( at least that is what i am good at - figuring out the unknowns).
As it is said - "Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart." Probably the very notion helped me in securing my project.
whoa whoa... kk..!! let me get you some background..

Okk!! as my profile states i am a final year computer science undergraduate student. We are required to work on some project which the university popularly tags as "BE project" ; while a major lot considers it as a pass on activity I had decided i will make sure this runs smooth and serious for me.

I had a written test before the "Filthy post" Click here to view. As i had mentioned there; I was selected for project trainee by TCS Talent Acquisition Group ( The name makes the credential sounds volumnious .. lol ) for TRDDC ( Tata Research Design and Development Centre). Its the first R&D organization of INDIA which is owned by TCS. Click here to read about TRDDC . Last friday we were called for Project allocation. Though i had opted for OS & Networking Domain Project..[These two subjects had allured me quite a lot during my course of engineering] we were alloted a project on Agile framework on Ruby on rails.. by some pattern matching algorithmic software (at least that is what the authorities had stated).
And today was my first day at TRDDC.

My very first day at office began with quite a bit of pro-active events. We had planned to meet ( we refers to my project partners) at a common place at 9:30. But as it is said " Sleep and Anshu is difficult to get past."...
"Anshu anshu .. get up".. "Urgh !!!! " i replied , and i saw Ankit (My project mate) staring at me standing beside my bed.. " Fuck " i uttered, "whats the time.." i flashed up my cell. It was 9:30 and i had 9 missed calls. 7 belonged to Ankit and 2 belonged to Tejal (she is my second project mate) "Oh god.. i am dead"..i was scared to speak any word.. but God was kind.. Ankit didnt seem to be in a ruffled mood as he didnt say anything .. i got up quickly made the necessary ammendments to my stature and set off. I realized i was quick at getting ready.(Agile - i suppose) Later Ankit told me on the way how hard he tried to contact me at early hours. I wasnt receiving my cell and my roommates were too busy sleeping. I realized my mistake.. apologised and everything was settled.

We reached office by 10:30. Two things were evident..
1. It was no college.. The place was dead silent. i thought how even they get up here by 09:00 hrs.
2. The place and people were AGILE.

I was amazed at their capablity. No tresspasses no unusual roam. No unwanted noise. I thought where have i landed. We were escorted by a TCS personnae to a conference room where we were intoduced to our Project guide. The conversation lasted about 90 mins. The experience was good and too technical to be mentioned here. Later some formalities popped up. We got our access card soon. By the end of the day I have quite a list of things to prepare for my next day.

Things are not gonna be easy. Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music. And i do not belong to those genreics. I know i have to work and i am looking forward to exploit this opportunity.. For all the rest there is someone watching me. And as a matter of fact I believe him.

Btw i have a title for the post.[I said i am good at figuring out unknowns] "The Transition" suits well.


Thats all for now

Anshu Kumar

ABSTRACT --- !!!

Life hasnt been easy for anyone ; nor it can be; does it supposedly expected to be ?? The later question is for you out there. Its a bunch of abstracts; a group of coherent events; a bundle of emotions. But then why i am scribbling here?? Only for the oblivious reason coz i believe in abstracts of life.

02:30 am in the morning and i am talking about abstracts of life. 09:30 i have a meeting with my mentor at TRDDC and i am writing about abstract of life. Perfectly fine with me. The only reason I started blogging was out of the fact that i needed my space; My space to pour out; my space to express my anger; my space to express my excitement; my space to get deep down with my passion; My own space. Let me get back to cynosure of this blog.[Remember i have to go to TRDDC to meet my mentor :P].

The abstracts of life :

The first abstract of life that i ever sensed after i was left abreast to the naked world was Love. Probably only after a week i joined college i found most of the personnaes circumscribing me was in love. I pondered is it easy to be in love or chicks here are too forthcoming. Every third person i met was in love. I thought..i decided.. even i would love. As if it was an action to be done.. The next step was ineeded to find a girl to love.. i started my hunt.. weeks went by and by the end of semester i realized what a fool i was; i realized you cant emote an emotion; I realized you cant make it sound like an action; you cant plan it; you cant realize it;you cant execute it. But the definition of love was still blunt for me.

My search for love taught me three important things:

1. Love is abstract
2. Love is more of a comprehensive feeling than what we expect it to be
3. Half of the person in love actually are unaware about it true meaning.

I do expect someone might say "Look Who is talking" A person never in love is defining its content. But this post is in direct co-ordination to what i sensed.

what i felt about Love was

People expect in love whereas you cant expect love in return. Love more than a mutual concern is an emote of individual glory.

People grow possesive in Love; they forget tighter they grip easily it slips out of heart.The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to.

I have seen people who claim they are in love; But simultaneously if they receive a call waiting on the counterpart's cell even for more than few minutes they get flared up. They cant withstand their partners moving with someone else; talking wd someone else. while some percentage of people actually do not exhibit their insecurity quite a large lot show it up. But then Love wasnt about Insecurity. It was about Understanding and Individual Glory as i had said. When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.

Not everytime we love someone we get Love back in return. But then shall we stop loving ?? The question is again of individual concern. !! Some things are constant in this environment and one of them i your first love. However hard we try we cant push aside those first memories; the first glimpse; the first conversation; the first feel of concern; the first emote;

Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic; and i dont wanna be one of those. Spiritual superiority only sees the individual. But alas, ordinarily we human beings are sensual and, therefore, as soon as it is a gathering, the impression changes -- we see something abstract, the crowd, and we become different despite of godliness consequences.

I do not now if i am in love ... To be precise its of least concern to me. All i know i wanna see her bright face; i wanna see her glory; i wanna see her sailing past the difficult times; i wanna see her prosperous; I wanna listen her crankling sound every time she speaks. This is what matters for me the most .


The only fact that i can decide for myself is that I can feel the ABSTRACT beyond logics and reductions.

Anshu Kumar

The man that never was

Probably we never realise about the man the never was .. He is always there .. Omnipotent .. OmniPresent ..
We feel Him .. We can hear him but we dont want to visualise him.
he is there wether you play basket ball; wether you involve yourself in toughest of computational problem ; wether you shop; wether you date .. irrespective of our actions.
He is always there ..
He is the one who keeps pushing our limits beyond pre-defined norms and bars.. !! He is the one always ringing in the mind.
We listen to him ; we talk to him ; we respond to his suggestions ; we know him
but we dont wanna accept him as if he never was ;
we are hesitant ; we are ductile ; the only oblivious reason is that coz we are human .. the mean and selfish humans ; we always tend to ignore the fact and rely more on our assumptions. Only because we are Humans ..
Some one said we are rational ; the other said we are social but personally speaking i have to redefine the textual meaning of "social" && "rational"

We often see him ; we know him but we pretend; he is the one who gives the courage to young college guy to go out propose the first gal of his eyes ; he is the one that bruises a broken heart; he is the one who encourages one before his most important result ; he is the one who drives so called "self-motivation". He is the one who makes us passionate about our desires.
He is decorous ; he is coherent; he is in sync ?? but then we never accept him . we tend to decimate our choice to accept. coz we are humans ..

But once on a life we have always heard that voice ; the voice of

"THE MAN THAT NEVER WAS"

The Beginning Of the End

" Everything that has a beginning has an end " , Perhaps Agent Smith was true.

whoa whoa whoa ... Agent Smith - you don't remember..huh cmon guys!!! The famous Matrix character. And so did Neo realised soon; and that probably aided him to evade the consequences.
This one was one of the point of our discussion yesterday. What was the discussion all about; who i was discussing; why when. Probably if you are a computer science undergraduate; you would by now realise these questions formulate the fundamentals of Software Engineering.

So why I am speaking about the Beginning of the end ?
Cmon i wouldnt like you to grope and find you way.

I am speaking of my final year of college. Yes Final year of my Engineering.
Probably it has begun; and I can feel the end; the end of 4 beautiful years; the end of 4 charismatic years; the end of 4 accounting years.

But then what i have learnt - here lies the fundamental ques; the crux ..

have i learnt some strong database concept[i may be speaking of normalization or parallel databases]

have i learnt some strong 3GL and 4GL languages ?

have i learnt the functionalities of some strong Operating system like LINUX

have i learnt to design a compiler?

have i learnt some strong modelling techniques?

can we answer those.. as for me i am not sure of what i have learnt among the tech list i provided above. i am not sure as of how many of you [ i take into account computer science undergraduates ] have learnt among list.

but then we are reqd to learn things from our environment; from things happening; from thing along the courses of life.
So are we reqd to learn these..[keep aside the semester examinations]
means cmon' where in life you need to implement a YACC design on UNIX system. where in life you need to find a java program to represent a Schrodinger wave Equation and find out the reqd roots. How long we gonna need this type of knowledge in particular.

But then i realised something else
College makes a man out of you.
it make you feel you have balls under you . As far as Engineering courses are considered[ at least that is what i have pursued] three years for me have been phenomenal.

I learnt how to prepare an assignment 30 mins before dead-line and end up getting a A or B+ grade

I learnt how to slog nights and sleep late and more importantly yet emerge in college next day on time [on time means a grant of one lecture off]

I learnt how to "jugaad"; the important of all activity; the essentials of all. Had I not attained this in particular i would be so screwed. Jugaad specifically means a source hand on all that you can .. ranging from lab journals to assignments to exam papers[if you can [:)])

I learnt how to prepare for exams only in prep leave and not wasting the entire sem for it (even then you have a difference of 3-5 % [: P])

I learnt to flip through 500 pages in a night for an exam next morning.

I learnt to write an internal test with less than 1 hrs of preparation.

I learnt to celebrate every little event we can. even a beer for a day well spent serves the purpose.

I learnt to watch 18 episodes of a season at a stretch and then sleep all day.

I learnt to find brilliant excuses.

I learnt using slangs every now and then.

I learnt to ignore eventually everything that is of least concern to me.

I learnt how to get away with uneasy and unhealthy situations.

I learnt to Lie and fake circumtances

That is what college taught me.

And i think more importantly these attributes are more pertaining to a practical view life. By this i dont mean shunning of your courses. Obviously one need the first set of items but the technical knowledge doesnt lives all your age. We forget more than we learn.But we do always have an option to look up;the teachings i Listed second are in more proximity to practical Life situation.

Some wise and idealist men have said we shouldnt lie. we shouldn't fake. But then every one cannot be as wise as them or else Wisdom got to be redefined; and morover Life is no bunch of idealism - its just a simple computational result of causes permuted with combinations of effects.

So what helps more ??
3 nf Normalization of tables or ability to take control of events?
70% throughout aggregate or the thought process ?
Stack and Queue machines or the Prioritising actions [ i do not intend to use priority queue [:)] ]
Deterministic and non deterministic automata or ability to decide for essentials ?

The very notion of college was to prepare individual for the challenges of life and not make him mug every possible filthy item he can.
Its a very personal feeling of mine that the youngsters are detracting from the primary aim of college life. I do not advocate shunning and discarding courses but i only mean to take into consideration the second list; which do become a part of abstract curriculum.
This abstract curriculum/culture of Engineering courses makes it one of the most distinguished course in itself.

If College makeths a man
i would like to quote it more properly
"Engineering maketh a proper man"

and this is probably what i will miss when i leave college. this is in exact that makes me feel low when i think of beginning of the end.

but as said

"Everything that has a beginning has an end"

Love and wishes
Anshu

The G fever - CHROME OS

Google has earned more than a name for itself in the market.
Chrome OS is Google’s first attempt at a desktop operating system. Due to be released in the second half of next year, the Chrome OS has many people baffled as to what it is exactly. What possessed Google to directly take on Microsoft in this way? Is Google getting too big for its boots? And how did this all kick off in the first place?

We are pretty aware with the MICROSOFT vs APPLE fight; some people put it as BILL GATE vs STEVE JOB . Microsoft a name which is in very much sync with the word "Monopoly"; as a matter of fact it has monopolize a major bulk of market. Apple realised no matter what they did, it could never hold the monopoly over Windows so the moved onto better things. The iPod was a punch in the stomach to Microsoft, which never thought it would take off. Since then, Bill Gates has banned Apple products in his house and Microsoft set up an “iPod amnesty”, where employees with an iPod could bin it and replace it with a Zune, Microsoft’s iPod equivalent. Due to the recession, this effort was cut short and Apple still dominates the Zune.

Google’s plans to roll out a desktop operating system hasn’t been a decision made lightly or taken on a very short notice of time. After playing with Android, Google’s operating system designed for mobile devices, isn’t bad for a first attempt. But I reckon they have been planning this for a good number of years at least.
Via ReadWriteWeb, Google CEO, Eric Schmidt, wrote an article for the Economist:
“In 2007 we’ll witness the increasing dominance of open Internet standards. As web access via mobile phones grows, these standards will sweep aside the proprietary protocols promoted by individual companies striving for technical monopoly. Today’s desktop software will be overtaken by Internet-based services that enable users to choose the document formats, search tools and editing capability that best suit their needs.”






While the potential to delve into conspiracy and “read between the lines” syndrome could be easy in this case, the above quote indicates they had been conspiring to get the market out of the shackles of Monopoly.
Chrome, the name of Google’s already quite popular browser, is put forward as the name of their operating system. This could well be a significant step towards the future of operating systems. The name has earned quite a promotion of the product. TechCrunch believes a web browser is all you will need when using a computer in the near future. We see this with online office suites, online email, online social communication and online messaging. Why not the OS too? Definitely Google is thinking on the line of making an OS more light weighted and robust.

Who could ever believe that an organization which started up as a lowly search engine would take the world by storm. They came out with the most comprehensive search Engine. Nobody expected it to do this well, probably not even the initial team. But with the revenues made, the breadth and depth of the service, the brand and everything else involved, they realised how powerful they were. There product one after the another gained immense popularity as well as respect for the only reason of its chastity. Say it gmail, gtalk. Google, in this respect, will be the next Microsoft.

Considering Google has only just taken off the beta tags of it’s most popular non-search services, GMail and Apps, some may believe that Chrome OS will be in a public forum soon. But as we have seen with Android, beta testing an operating system isn’t as easy as a web service. There are hitches which are to be taken care of.

But over the course of Google’s life, it has increasingly been moving in on Microsoft’s turf. With many Google services on the web, this ties is in nicely with this operating system. As a relatively bare-bones OS designed for netbooks, based on the Linux kernel, it will be similar to Android in that it will be open source and community driven. What’s more, as a result, it will be free.

People doubt whether this will detract much of the market share away from Microsoft with the upcoming Windows 7 release, but on the non-software front, this will be an interesting couple of years in front of us. Years which may change people's perception; their insights; their hindsights.

Operating systems are the next battle ground and a Web based operating system is an ultimate possibility. Google has a chance. Still, either way, with the mysterious project, codename “Midori”, the next generation of Microsoft’s operating systems could well sweep the floor with other projects on the go at present. who knows ; after all Microsoft has answered the challenges well.

For now, all we can really do is wait and see. It is us, the people, the next generation of techies which will decide.

Placement update

Placements certainly one of the most covetous entity of every individual..undertaking a degree course.
as such NASSCOM authorities it was decided that a major chunk of companies would visit the campus for recruitment, by the end of 7th sem. The idea was to get certainty from employers; thereby preserving the integrity of employers as well as of that of employee.

http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/slowdown-effect-campus-recruitment-takes-a-sixmonth-hit/440934/
[click here for details]

Though it perfectly make sense to me. The so called "REGRET LETTERS" makes no sense to employers as well as employee. So full point to NASSCOM on their stand.

Still 4 companies made its way to campus for recruitment.

Thoughtworks
S- ONE Services
Nvidia
Inigo Architect

I manged to clear entrance test for thoughtworks and S-ONE services.

Thoughtworks was a flat organization to work;
http://www.thoughtworks.co.in/
an organisation with open work culture but definitely a firm where one can discover substantiate amount of growth. I cleared written , Group Activity and den coding; but guess that was all in store for me that particular day; couldn't get past it for tech interview.

S-one was a descent enough organisation ; even for this i managed to clear the written test. The interview was fine. I do not know what went wrong;I wasn't called for HR

Nvidia and Indigo Architect . I didn't opt for these two organisation as Nvidia despite being a reputed firm were offering for Q/A engineers and Indigo too new to start.

So this is all for now.
Hope this page comes up with a descent news next December when the placement season catches up with full swing.

This is all from placement corner.
signing off

Anshu

The Run - Part one

Where do i begin .. hmmm .. k !! i got it ..
Many of my friends said that the previous post was one of the most filthy note i ever wrote. Perhaps true; When you have a TCS test next day on the queue[ Note i am speaking of a priority queue :P ] where some A.H are gonna ask you English; the post to be filthy is bound to be happening. The other side is that it was all my frustration that found its way on the blog page. And on the lighter note i felt good [:x]

TCS test..huh !! cmon guys its no placement test.. so stay still; just a test for the project. But two things that went different about this test
1. TCS is not an A.H.
2. They changed their questions this tym [all new.. so guys appearing for TCS ; make a note that you do Data Sufficiency well enough; as for verbal Sux all the time].
Lets close this chapter here and try abating the consequences.


I had this thought as I was in bathroom, What next; What next am i gonna do with my life. [These thoughts are at its best when you are in bathroom :P]. This questions did away my idea of watching a movie.[:x]. I pondered and said to myself "Good question Dude.. & .. in fact a relevant one "... taking into current external circumstantial evidence...
"Do i need to think.. means still, i have a year to go...", i said to myself.
"Obv .. you need to think.. and in fact early you begin is better for you", the person standing right in front of me stated. The person whom i never met, the person whom i can feel as omnipresent.
"Fuck !! means why the phase of thinking becomes cyclic...3 years before i thought and once again i need to again.. cmon' why Humans cant Live a life that was meant to be lived..??".
We wanted to live and just have a look at yourself .. are you living or running, running for all petty things that have circumstantially become an stringent and importantly commodity of human life ...
We took birth and the first thing that we adapted was to run.. run for every fucking thing. Run came out the embryo of Expectations.
We Expect and and to quench the expectation we run .. holding our breath..

I am not questioning the very process of Life .. and i cannot coz i have been a part of that f***ing system for 22 long years. but its a feeling that i couldnt get rid of since many days, years whatever ... we want , we work hard and we get .. Time again we want more , we work harder, and we get .. the more we work the meaner we become. The idea which keeps hunting me is when this big want meets its destiny.. when do we start enjoying the basic happiness of world.. !!!
Well cut it loose.. and let me get straight to the basic question what am i gonna do

Where most of my friend have started their CAT Preparations..i am still looming large at the different Multiple choice available on my OMR sheet of life. Pursuing a MBA is the least thing i wanna do now. So "Belling tha CAT" as they say is not so evident in my mind.. as for now..
2nd option GRE.. some of my friends have taken their GRE and believe me they are into US lifestyle well before a year..huh !!! as far as i am concerned GRE is still 2 yrs from now..
3rd option GATE .. this is one option that i am looking forward with an interest more than any of the previous two; and every sip of coffee from my mug strengthens this idea..
4th and the most probable idea that i am thinking is to work...means cmon Dude you studied all the crap for 4 fucking long years. you had slogged night before every semester exam...taste it what its all about...?? [this idea is the strongest in my mind]...
and as i think of a job the word EXPECTATION/RUN starts ringing in my mind again.. and here begins what i think is one of the most sucking, thematic and critical attribute of Humany Psychology...

Sucking - coz its sux for the only obvious reason that it decimates most of the inner desires of human being.
Thematic - coz its one of the Guidelines that factually makes life decorous.
Critical - because we often confuse if its thematic or sucking

.... to be continued

I know not who am I

I know not who am I
I know not who am I

Nor am I the one who believes in Mosque
Nor am I in the rituals of the infidel
Nor am I the pure in impure
Nor am I inherent in the vedas
Nor am i Present in the intoxicants.
Nor am I lost, nor the corrupt
Nor am I union , nor the grief
Nor am I intrinsic in the pure/impure
Nor am I water, nor the land
Nor am I fire nor the air

I know not who am I
I know not who am I

Nor am I from lahore, nor an Indian
Nor a hindu, nor a peshawri turk
Nor did i create the difference of faith
Nor did i create adam eve
nor did i name myself.. !!
Beginning or the end i just know the self do not acknowledge duality
there's none wiser than I.

Who is this ??
I know not who am I
I know not who am I

I am not the moses or the pharaoh
I am not sleep or wakefullness
I am not fire or the wind
I am not inertia or travel

who is this
I know not who am I
I know not who am I

Thoughts of dawn

Just managed to get a new theme for the blog page.
Well that was never an easy task.
03:15 hrs and managing blog themes.. huh !! sounds crazy :P
But yeah actually it does..

An couple of hours before i, was thinking what success actually mean..
Whoa !!! All of a sudden i am thinking about success - definitely i have met a failure very recently .. Its quite natural ..
ahem ahem !!! to a certain extent yeah ...

As a young lad of 12 years old, success meant to me score a 90 + in mathematics ( that was only the subject that kept luring me !)
As i grew, moved to my higher classes , the definition of success changed drastically. Until 8th standard , i was academically 4th or 5th best guy in the class; when i stood second for the first time.
The definition of success changed again.

Now it was to be proficient among the class. As time passed by the definition adapted itself, though most of the time it seemed quixotic; but who has ever surpassed Human desire; By now i was in Xth standard; Xth exams always carry an air (Its only 3 years down the line you realize that the whole of hype was a futile)
Success now meant to me scoring good in boards.. a six pointer..
[Six pointer - huh !! the concept carries a big air if you are an ICSE student ..]

After i passed my boards, the succcess had pushed itself to clearing JEE. I realized then i was growing and so was the limits of success; Every time i reached it ; it slided away a step ahead ; Though JEE wasnt a tractable event; i managed to get into a descent enough institute.

years have passed by since i first realized success; i am still hovering and groping for the exact definiton of success; some says its to reach out our desire; some says to have a content life. Though i have brought a lot of equanimity in my life ; from an active to a docile creature [probably that is the effect of an engineering course in INDIA], m still figuring out what success actually means.

Get good marks ; get fucking good percentage; get fucking good Junior college; get a fucking good college ; get a fucking good job .....bla bla bla bla bla .... ..

Perhaps i think is SUCCESS is what you never get. its something that we always crave for; its an illusionary .
What the fuck .. i think i should go back to memorizing my word list; that will do a lil good to my test 2moro.. for the rest have a thought ...

Love and Wishes ..Anshu !!

CTRL + Z

There was this forwarded mail by one of less know friend, and I thought may be I could put it here. Looks more coherent than embedded images on a mail. As I was reading through this mail it occurred to me. Lets sail back through the time and remember some old facets that used to be backbone then. So I thought I will publish it.

And I guess by the end some of you will find at least a percent of truth in my point. I am not making any kind of assurances or trying to re-enforce my idea, it’s just what I discovered after a score of minutes that I devoted to that mail.

Tell me if you didn’t have your laptop or  your cell phone, how many of you will survive? Answer that honestly. As of speaking of me I definitely would have landed myself in some kind of asylum. 10 hours of the allotted 24 by the creator are spent on these gadgets. (I am addressing to the community that I relate to)

I remember one of my professor remarked “We are addicted to technology”. And I guess she was true. Laptops were no less and now we have iPods and iPhone and other smart stuff. These entities are making life more like it was ever imagine. No doubt they are easing out the entire process of living. But aren’t these taking away the genuine essence of life. Or am I mistaken. I guess the definition of life’s essence is changing discreetly. May be I need to reconsider my statement.

For example how many of us get carried away by the soothing, cold breeze in the evening. How many feel like chasing around the wind.

Cricket is still the craziest thing that ever happened to India. Though it still continues to make people mad, Counter Strike is another asset that has inflicted people. Head shot is no less than Dhoni  hitting a six over the mid-wicket region. (I do not intend to defame the game. It’s just a feeling)

Well the mail remembered me some of the old things of my own life. World has changes and we also changed for the world

Are you missing those days? And I promise you as you wheel your mouse you will smile.

 

Remember this. India’s national channel there was no cable Tv then as it is in abundance today. The most famous Screensaver of Doordarshan. I remember it had a beep sound in the back ground.

Surely there was no 'Prison Break' then and surely no one knew 'How I Met your Mother', I made sure I watched at least above two, until the reason for missing them was a power cut. Yes we had power cuts then too.A couple of them like above are still cherished till date.

As the title goes World Most viewed Mythological series. I remember it was 90’s when this series was aired. The Sundays were days to be awaited for. “mile sur mera tumhara". A song aired on DD to strengthen national Integrity. Though we have some hip version of it today, I still prefer the older one and the original one. Did I say that 'Original'. That's a rare word these days.

The classic advertisement of Indian television. Though the recent version has some more 'names' to it.

Sometimes I wonder how someone grew up in 70’s, 80’s. We had no cell phones in abundance. We had no seatbelts and no airbags. Cycling was like a breath of fresh air. No safety helmets, knee pads or elbow pads, with plenty of cardboards between spokes to make it sound like a motorbike.

When we were thirsty we drank only tap water; bottled water was still a mystery.

We kept busy collecting bits & pieces, all sort of trivial things, thrashes that practically were illogical; so that we could build all sort of things … and we were fearless on our bicycles even when the brakes failed going downhill. We were showing off how tough we are, by how high we could climb trees & then jumping down. It was great fun.

We could stay out to play for hours, as long as we got back before dark, in time for dinner. We used to bicycle to our schools and no one ever feared. Neither the parents, nor did we. It was so much fun to enjoy the restricted liberty.

We had no mobile phones, no Gmail accounts, no chat programs but we always managed to find each other.

We lost teeth, broke arms & legs, we got cuts and bruises and bloody noses. Nobody complained as we had so much fun, it wasn't anybody's fault, only ours. No one else’s. We ate everything in sight, cakes, bread, chocolate, ice-cream, sweet sugary drinks, fruits; all kind of junks yet, we stayed skinny by fooling around. And if one of us was lucky to find a 1 litre coca cola bottle we all had a swig from it & guess what? Nobody picked up any germs, no infections.

We did not have Play Stations, Xbox MP3, Nintendo's, I-Pods, Video games, 299 Cable TV channels on Tata Sky, DVD's, Home Theatres’, Personal Computers, Laptops. We heard about internet and thought it to be a free world on a dial up connection.

We called on friends to come out to play, never rang the doorbell, and just went around the backdoor, and no one ever complained.

We played with cricket bats, sticks and stones, played cowboys and Indians, doctors and nurses, hide and seek soccer games, cricket run over places we never knew ... over and over again … and still we were never bored. When we failed our exams we were given a second chance by simply repeating the same grade … without visiting psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors. Such were the days, reckless. We had freedom, success, disappointments and responsibilities.

And above all we loved to respect.

The only purpose of me writing this to bring out a curve on the faces, forget the stress that surrounds us these days, and just for a few moments puts a smile to the faces as we remember what life was really like in the good old days.

Hope we all could make a CTRL + Z to life editor.

(Adapted from a forwarded mail)