ABSTRACT --- !!!

Life hasnt been easy for anyone ; nor it can be; does it supposedly expected to be ?? The later question is for you out there. Its a bunch of abstracts; a group of coherent events; a bundle of emotions. But then why i am scribbling here?? Only for the oblivious reason coz i believe in abstracts of life.

02:30 am in the morning and i am talking about abstracts of life. 09:30 i have a meeting with my mentor at TRDDC and i am writing about abstract of life. Perfectly fine with me. The only reason I started blogging was out of the fact that i needed my space; My space to pour out; my space to express my anger; my space to express my excitement; my space to get deep down with my passion; My own space. Let me get back to cynosure of this blog.[Remember i have to go to TRDDC to meet my mentor :P].

The abstracts of life :

The first abstract of life that i ever sensed after i was left abreast to the naked world was Love. Probably only after a week i joined college i found most of the personnaes circumscribing me was in love. I pondered is it easy to be in love or chicks here are too forthcoming. Every third person i met was in love. I thought..i decided.. even i would love. As if it was an action to be done.. The next step was ineeded to find a girl to love.. i started my hunt.. weeks went by and by the end of semester i realized what a fool i was; i realized you cant emote an emotion; I realized you cant make it sound like an action; you cant plan it; you cant realize it;you cant execute it. But the definition of love was still blunt for me.

My search for love taught me three important things:

1. Love is abstract
2. Love is more of a comprehensive feeling than what we expect it to be
3. Half of the person in love actually are unaware about it true meaning.

I do expect someone might say "Look Who is talking" A person never in love is defining its content. But this post is in direct co-ordination to what i sensed.

what i felt about Love was

People expect in love whereas you cant expect love in return. Love more than a mutual concern is an emote of individual glory.

People grow possesive in Love; they forget tighter they grip easily it slips out of heart.The worst thing is holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be held on to.

I have seen people who claim they are in love; But simultaneously if they receive a call waiting on the counterpart's cell even for more than few minutes they get flared up. They cant withstand their partners moving with someone else; talking wd someone else. while some percentage of people actually do not exhibit their insecurity quite a large lot show it up. But then Love wasnt about Insecurity. It was about Understanding and Individual Glory as i had said. When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.

Not everytime we love someone we get Love back in return. But then shall we stop loving ?? The question is again of individual concern. !! Some things are constant in this environment and one of them i your first love. However hard we try we cant push aside those first memories; the first glimpse; the first conversation; the first feel of concern; the first emote;

Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic; and i dont wanna be one of those. Spiritual superiority only sees the individual. But alas, ordinarily we human beings are sensual and, therefore, as soon as it is a gathering, the impression changes -- we see something abstract, the crowd, and we become different despite of godliness consequences.

I do not now if i am in love ... To be precise its of least concern to me. All i know i wanna see her bright face; i wanna see her glory; i wanna see her sailing past the difficult times; i wanna see her prosperous; I wanna listen her crankling sound every time she speaks. This is what matters for me the most .


The only fact that i can decide for myself is that I can feel the ABSTRACT beyond logics and reductions.

Anshu Kumar