Thoughts of dawn

Just managed to get a new theme for the blog page.
Well that was never an easy task.
03:15 hrs and managing blog themes.. huh !! sounds crazy :P
But yeah actually it does..

An couple of hours before i, was thinking what success actually mean..
Whoa !!! All of a sudden i am thinking about success - definitely i have met a failure very recently .. Its quite natural ..
ahem ahem !!! to a certain extent yeah ...

As a young lad of 12 years old, success meant to me score a 90 + in mathematics ( that was only the subject that kept luring me !)
As i grew, moved to my higher classes , the definition of success changed drastically. Until 8th standard , i was academically 4th or 5th best guy in the class; when i stood second for the first time.
The definition of success changed again.

Now it was to be proficient among the class. As time passed by the definition adapted itself, though most of the time it seemed quixotic; but who has ever surpassed Human desire; By now i was in Xth standard; Xth exams always carry an air (Its only 3 years down the line you realize that the whole of hype was a futile)
Success now meant to me scoring good in boards.. a six pointer..
[Six pointer - huh !! the concept carries a big air if you are an ICSE student ..]

After i passed my boards, the succcess had pushed itself to clearing JEE. I realized then i was growing and so was the limits of success; Every time i reached it ; it slided away a step ahead ; Though JEE wasnt a tractable event; i managed to get into a descent enough institute.

years have passed by since i first realized success; i am still hovering and groping for the exact definiton of success; some says its to reach out our desire; some says to have a content life. Though i have brought a lot of equanimity in my life ; from an active to a docile creature [probably that is the effect of an engineering course in INDIA], m still figuring out what success actually means.

Get good marks ; get fucking good percentage; get fucking good Junior college; get a fucking good college ; get a fucking good job .....bla bla bla bla bla .... ..

Perhaps i think is SUCCESS is what you never get. its something that we always crave for; its an illusionary .
What the fuck .. i think i should go back to memorizing my word list; that will do a lil good to my test 2moro.. for the rest have a thought ...

Love and Wishes ..Anshu !!