Anshu's 24th

Life Offers u Bastards, Fuckers, Assholes, Rapist and Friends. But for me the all four chassis was packed into one. 23rd may my Birthday :-) . O.o I forgot Tejal’s too. But then birthdays happen, what’s so special about this one. Why the hype? Perhaps this is special. Last semester, Last year this is bound to be exceptionally different.

The anxiety of being badly mutilated by the GANG was very much lingering in my mind since a day and the thought was so apparent that my facial muscles denied the every aspect of concealing it. “Anshu, you look worried bro”, Alok asked. Perhaps he got my feeling. He had to; after all he was 2 pegs down. 10:50, 11:10, 11:25, 11:42, 11:55 the clock was ticking and so was I. “C’mon man they can’t be so unrealistic. They are no rat ass”, I mumbled to myself. But then the way I had slaughtered Mahesh and Batra a week ago juddered my fundamental cogitations.

12:03, the ring on my doorbell. It was the time. Came in the mischevious six. To name the bastards – Abhinav Batra( The main Lead) Anuj Deshmukh, Ankit Soni, Hemant Agrawal, Raghav, and iCena (the prefix “I” was conferred to him cause of his special fondness to Apple Products). I wasn’t pleased. Batra had found his hard solid ID’s shoes. I was scared. But then I was helpless.

The birthday time - “Happy birthday to you .. happy birthday to you ….” the background tune helped scarcely in subjugating my worries. “God save me.. I need an angel… Castiel where are you” [Too much of supernatural series OMG] I mumbled to myself.. But seemed God slept early today !! Finally it was the moment.

The entire cake was on my face “someone hold the hands… someone take the legs into account.”The voices from the hoodlum got prominent and it began

Round one – people like cruel savages attacked me like hungry beasts.. The only thing I could feel was Batra’s Shoes which hit my ass cleavage every time he set himself up. My babies were tired. I gave up my resistant.

Round two - the Clasps holding me exchanged their turns and mid season break was over. I resented but the show was so rampant it was hardly evident. I gave up again.

Round three – Some beasts were still hungry. They quenched it too. My asses were on fire; though I couldn’t feel a thing. Neither love, nor pain, nor hatredness, nor agony..in chaste words I was gone dark .A couple of moments; I gained sense. I was mirthful. Like a young fucking child finishing up his midterms. “Finally this is it.. It ended” .

But no… Bastards didn’t end up there. They stormed me. I didn’t believe it. “Take off your tees man”, Batra was proactive again. A bottle of spoilt milk especially for this occasion. “What the fuck???”, I gruelled at them. But the list didn’t end up there. “Fattttthhh …“, and I could see egg shells over my belly and yolks disgorging down my eyes, nose and lips…” Congratulations Anshu someone just hit an egg on your face. “Hell man” by the time I had ended uttering ‘man’ I heard 2 more similar sounds; and found my hairs and my back joined the party too.“This is getting ug………hhhhllllyyyy …” I did hardly finish. It was Turmeric aka haldi. “What the hell… God!!! Hope this ends soon”. Now it was flour all over my body, belly hairs. Anuj ransacked the polybag again. “Now what’s that??” Toothpaste …argghhh !! And finally the finishing touches of the spoilt milk again. I was semi clad in my shorts sitting down like a fucking helpless idiot. No one pitied. No one helped. No one mercied while I was being butchered; While I was being raped; While I was being savaged. Soni was filming my official murder. God I hated them.. “so this is it??” A yes in unison confirmed it was the end of the MMS scandal. :P

Finally I entered the bathroom with a sense of unfathomed reliability but I was wrong. Batra was there too with the bottle of mustard oil. “The Grand finale”, he uttered and unturned the entire bottle on me. The spoilt milk, egg yolk, haldi, flour, toothpaste, cake, and finally mustard oil - a perfect recipe for a birthday dinner.

As I had said it was Tej’s Birthday too, so we just geared to drop in her a surprise!! She didn’t expect it. Well - “Expect The Unexpected” that’s what life offers us. Right Tej??? A dirty sanctimonious ceremony at her place too; the description of which needs a little more space.

P.S [post scripts in between sucks but then this is no ordinary] - Birthdays aren’t complete without gifts. Shreya and Rajat thanks a lot for that wonderful card and especially the picture frame. Love you guys. Aai (Tejal’s Mom) thank you very much for the shirt. Its simply fabulous. Love you not for the gift but for being so caring and loving :-)

Perhaps this is it. Not everyone is butchered, not everyone is mutilated so it’s special for me. I enjoyed every moment of the assault. Finally this wonderful journey ends here. Last semester; Final Year. The college ends in no more than 3 weeks. Don’t know where we end up but these days are gonna live forever. These bastards have become an indispensable part of my biography. It’s said, “Events however momentous or insignificant tends to erase themselves from human mind” but with the constraint only if you allow. This was simply the best, splendid and a candid piece of marvel. To all the fucking assholes who left no stone unturned in making this the best one - Love you Guys .. cheers !! O.o Forgot !! For Tejal – Happy birthday to you too buddy :-)

The 24th year of your existence comes up once in your life and it’s gonna be durable for me and when I say this I mean it “Life Long”

Cheers to Life and cheers to friends !! :-)
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