In a Relationship

Its has always been just a relationship status for him. And precisely the occurrence frequency of this relationship status on his facebook profile page has been more than often. As this status is changing once again for him, he had some new set of ideas which needed the gravity of his thought. He was befuddled, the subject was not the new girl but the change of social status that probably was not new for him any more. He was struggling with some set of questions, which were inviolable. They seemed irrelevant at times but then he was seeking for answers. The seek was desperate and quantitative in nature.

Its been 6 years he graduated, and 8 years since he was first in love or at least that is what he said it. Yes it was a love at first sight, but then similar cases of first sights followed year after another that made it no longer to be tagged “at first sight”. Every time he was in a relationship, the urge to get out of the shackles was more intense than the pre-existing desire to love. I asked him why does he say “pre-existing” and he replied because the existence ceased after a couple of months and the feeling of being in a relationship was insipid. But my concerns were different. Everytime he was out of the relationship the feel to love someone, to be with someone was just so aeonian.  I often tried subjugating myself with the thought of love or need of love just for the sake of it.

The room was dimly lit. The cigarette smoke seemed so rhetoric. The bean bag and nearby lying pack of cigarette made it perfect for him to shed away the urgency to drive any kind of locomotive thoughts that could require an effort for his bone and muscles to splay. He was smiling. The smile was different, not the regular one that had made a common appearance on his face before. It had an instinctive motive to speak a story. May be the first one. He had a picture in hand. The yellow turned paper made it quite evident that the picture was old. “Who is that ? ”, I asked. “That’s her”, he replied. “Her..  Who her ?? her has been very common with you.”, I tried inhibiting my quintessential boyish urge to know everything that could be possible, for this new girl that I was seeing in this picture. “She was my first” he replied back with the same smile. I don’t know but there was something with this smile. May be it was exclusive. Because these days exclusion has become relatively exclusive.

“First..?? Do you mean the first girl you slept with or the first girl you fell in love with or the first girl you presumably fell in love with. what is the exact dimension for this first ?” He burst into laugh. Probably the beer and cigarette had started working. I tell you its a tough combination to deal with. Since I am not a smoker, I had never experienced it personally but the reliable sources said to me, it was heaven for them. I was still doubtful though. “The first girl i was in relationship with. The first.” “How do you define a relationship ?”, I asked. My inability to get involve in even a single one; he knew this would be coming. “Relationship .. Hmm is like a sweet candy. It sweetens the life at first few turns; But as usual the problem with the sweeteners are that they are desirable only when you don’t have it. Once you own it you discard it or may be you start finding your own ways to start discarding it.” His reply was in situ. “You own it ?? what rubbish. How can you own a relationship, supposedly it has to be a mutual decision.right ?” This time he turned towards me. For the first time during the entire conversation he turned towards me. “Mutual, huh… Its only about few dinners, close body sessions, a little bit of appreciation session, cell phone session and importantly that unhook session that gives you the pleasure of being a man.”, He replied with the grin on his face. “So is it only about sex.?” I tried being straight forward. “No dude. Sex is an important part but its about the love which just saturates after a time period and the once seemed so desirable and loving a girl is just a liability you want to get rid of.” His reply had that ‘i don’t care’ smile. 

“ In a relationship is just an another luring thing. I am done; Probably I will sleep. You can keep thinking over it. May be write a book or go ahead write a blog. Whatever it is. I am sleeping now. Go to hell. May be go to sleep” he said and walked away. “I should too. Hell is kind of full may be drifting into sleep can help”, I thought and went to bed because for me being “in the office” tomorrow morning was of more importance than being “in a relationship”