Anshu's 24th

Life Offers u Bastards, Fuckers, Assholes, Rapist and Friends. But for me the all four chassis was packed into one. 23rd may my Birthday :-) . O.o I forgot Tejal’s too. But then birthdays happen, what’s so special about this one. Why the hype? Perhaps this is special. Last semester, Last year this is bound to be exceptionally different.

The anxiety of being badly mutilated by the GANG was very much lingering in my mind since a day and the thought was so apparent that my facial muscles denied the every aspect of concealing it. “Anshu, you look worried bro”, Alok asked. Perhaps he got my feeling. He had to; after all he was 2 pegs down. 10:50, 11:10, 11:25, 11:42, 11:55 the clock was ticking and so was I. “C’mon man they can’t be so unrealistic. They are no rat ass”, I mumbled to myself. But then the way I had slaughtered Mahesh and Batra a week ago juddered my fundamental cogitations.

12:03, the ring on my doorbell. It was the time. Came in the mischevious six. To name the bastards – Abhinav Batra( The main Lead) Anuj Deshmukh, Ankit Soni, Hemant Agrawal, Raghav, and iCena (the prefix “I” was conferred to him cause of his special fondness to Apple Products). I wasn’t pleased. Batra had found his hard solid ID’s shoes. I was scared. But then I was helpless.

The birthday time - “Happy birthday to you .. happy birthday to you ….” the background tune helped scarcely in subjugating my worries. “God save me.. I need an angel… Castiel where are you” [Too much of supernatural series OMG] I mumbled to myself.. But seemed God slept early today !! Finally it was the moment.

The entire cake was on my face “someone hold the hands… someone take the legs into account.”The voices from the hoodlum got prominent and it began

Round one – people like cruel savages attacked me like hungry beasts.. The only thing I could feel was Batra’s Shoes which hit my ass cleavage every time he set himself up. My babies were tired. I gave up my resistant.

Round two - the Clasps holding me exchanged their turns and mid season break was over. I resented but the show was so rampant it was hardly evident. I gave up again.

Round three – Some beasts were still hungry. They quenched it too. My asses were on fire; though I couldn’t feel a thing. Neither love, nor pain, nor hatredness, nor agony..in chaste words I was gone dark .A couple of moments; I gained sense. I was mirthful. Like a young fucking child finishing up his midterms. “Finally this is it.. It ended” .

But no… Bastards didn’t end up there. They stormed me. I didn’t believe it. “Take off your tees man”, Batra was proactive again. A bottle of spoilt milk especially for this occasion. “What the fuck???”, I gruelled at them. But the list didn’t end up there. “Fattttthhh …“, and I could see egg shells over my belly and yolks disgorging down my eyes, nose and lips…” Congratulations Anshu someone just hit an egg on your face. “Hell man” by the time I had ended uttering ‘man’ I heard 2 more similar sounds; and found my hairs and my back joined the party too.“This is getting ug………hhhhllllyyyy …” I did hardly finish. It was Turmeric aka haldi. “What the hell… God!!! Hope this ends soon”. Now it was flour all over my body, belly hairs. Anuj ransacked the polybag again. “Now what’s that??” Toothpaste …argghhh !! And finally the finishing touches of the spoilt milk again. I was semi clad in my shorts sitting down like a fucking helpless idiot. No one pitied. No one helped. No one mercied while I was being butchered; While I was being raped; While I was being savaged. Soni was filming my official murder. God I hated them.. “so this is it??” A yes in unison confirmed it was the end of the MMS scandal. :P

Finally I entered the bathroom with a sense of unfathomed reliability but I was wrong. Batra was there too with the bottle of mustard oil. “The Grand finale”, he uttered and unturned the entire bottle on me. The spoilt milk, egg yolk, haldi, flour, toothpaste, cake, and finally mustard oil - a perfect recipe for a birthday dinner.

As I had said it was Tej’s Birthday too, so we just geared to drop in her a surprise!! She didn’t expect it. Well - “Expect The Unexpected” that’s what life offers us. Right Tej??? A dirty sanctimonious ceremony at her place too; the description of which needs a little more space.

P.S [post scripts in between sucks but then this is no ordinary] - Birthdays aren’t complete without gifts. Shreya and Rajat thanks a lot for that wonderful card and especially the picture frame. Love you guys. Aai (Tejal’s Mom) thank you very much for the shirt. Its simply fabulous. Love you not for the gift but for being so caring and loving :-)

Perhaps this is it. Not everyone is butchered, not everyone is mutilated so it’s special for me. I enjoyed every moment of the assault. Finally this wonderful journey ends here. Last semester; Final Year. The college ends in no more than 3 weeks. Don’t know where we end up but these days are gonna live forever. These bastards have become an indispensable part of my biography. It’s said, “Events however momentous or insignificant tends to erase themselves from human mind” but with the constraint only if you allow. This was simply the best, splendid and a candid piece of marvel. To all the fucking assholes who left no stone unturned in making this the best one - Love you Guys .. cheers !! O.o Forgot !! For Tejal – Happy birthday to you too buddy :-)

The 24th year of your existence comes up once in your life and it’s gonna be durable for me and when I say this I mean it “Life Long”

Cheers to Life and cheers to friends !! :-)
The official SAVAGE link

The interview with GOD.

Wonder not why I was pulled away from my beautiful dream. It was a message tone that actually did away my idea of sleep.[Cell phones – they have become such an indispensable commodity] Semi clad in my drowsy state, I groped my hand to get my cell phone. Anyhow I managed to pull it up to realize it was a sms from guriya, a friend of mine which read “Dude m leaving for Bangalore. In the train and my tickets not confirmed :( ” The use of that brisk smiley/emoticon left me with a smile on my face. Guriya has been one person who  knew the best use of smileys.  “What the hell?” I grumbled to myself. I buzzed her to know if she was well and at least managed to acquaint herself with a seat. It’s just 5-6 hrs journey from Chennai to Bangalore but then you need someplace to rest your butt in. Seemed like she had a place to sit. With complacency in my soul, it was time for some serious thinking. “7:20 am God, it’s been days I woke up at this time; what the hell should I do”. The nihility of any valid and resurrecting actions forced me to log on to my Gmail account. Taking into the account my 256kbps bandwidth I thought I had enough time to actually look for my specs; and by the time Gmail would have been successfully cached to my system.

“Interview with GOD” – “what’s that”, I thought. gazing at the only unread mail. I could see an URL redirecting to an embedded flash content which said “this is gonna be inspiring”. I forwarded it to most of the people figuring out in my Gmail contact list. “Man this is awe-inspiring. This has to be on my blog roll”, the thought was so lifelike I could barely elude the idea. All credits to aman for forwarding this masterpiece to me.

The a/v read as follows -

I Dreamed I had an Interview with God

So you would like to interview me?” GOD asked. “If you have the time,” I said. GOD smiled. “My time is Eternity .. What question you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about mankind?”, i asked.

GOD answered –

“They get bored with childhood ... they rush to grow up and long to be children again.”

“That they lose their health to make money and lose their money to restore their health”

“That by thinking anxiously about the future they forget the present such that they live in neither the present nor the future”

“That they lived as if they will never die and die as though they had never lived”

GOD’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while and then I asked, “As a parent what are some of the life’s lesson you want your children to learn?”

GOD replied –

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them; all they can do is let themselves be loved”

“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves with others”

“To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness”

“To learn that it takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love and it can take many years to heal them”

“To learn that a rich person is not who has the most but is the one who needs the least”

“To learn that there are people who love them dearly but simply do not yet know how to express/show their feelings”

“To learn that two people can look at the same thing but still see differently”

“To learn that it’s not enough that they forgive one another but they must forgive themselves too”

“Thank you for your time ,” I said humbly “Is there anything else you would like your children to know?”

GOD smiled and said, “Just know that I am here” ................................    “ALWAYS”

The Crystal Ship

We aspire, we expect we evolve;  perhaps the brayed realities of human psychology. I aint' a philosopher but this is how by far my sense of logics and deductions goes in. But then what if some expectations aren’t answered. what if some aspirations aren’t met. I still remember back in 2004 when I was the editorial head of my class magazine; it was me who backed the title "Expect the Unexpected”. But then I never actually gulped in the gravity of this word.

Why am  I writing about the Expectations. Because lately I have discovered perhaps this human cognitive emotion grows exponentially and even if u differentiate it the tangents ain't smooth. This is one area I have hated consistently; even more consistent than my academics.

I remember I had a course in my 2nd year named Financial and Industrial Management. Heck I never cared about it. It had a unit which now reminds me of the Law of Demand and Supply. It stated - Supply and demand is an economic model of price determination in a market. It concludes that in a competitive market, price will function to equalize the quantity demanded by consumers, and the quantity supplied by producers, resulting in an economic equilibrium . Generally, when demand exceeds supply prices of a particular item or service are generally higher and when supply exceeds demand, prices of a particular item or service are lower. Expectations fits into these prototypes but with the alteration that u can never meet the demands of Expectation with your supplies.

I have seen people getting into relationship and by the end of a year moving out of the ride. And when I have had a close set of inspections at it ; perhaps I found this expectations hanging up there in somewhere. Most of the relationships chafe because we start expecting; we start demanding. A little closer look manifest that it’s this expectations that nearly curbs our freedom and space. It grows and the liberty closes in. These pragmatics of life perhaps make me scare of relationships.

Some expectations makes us smile while a lot brings in irresistible pain.Some makes us feel exuberant at heart while another set brings in apathy. Perfections isn't common.
Nevertheless this crystal ship has learned to stay afloat..

Saturday's HOUSEFULL

What do we do when we have plenty of  inutile time?? most of us start criticizing and if one can write probably you pick up stuff and pen down a critical appreciation on it. I choose Housefull. Well this is my first attempt as far as writing critical notes are concerned. Last time I did this I was in 10th grade then and believe me I ain't good at it; probably I should be allowed to intromit the fact that m' gonna be the last person on this planet you would be wiling to hear; because I really suck at it. But then I guess everyone is having a hand on it why not me ??


I and Krishna had this wonderful honour to accompany Tej to Houseful because it was her plan. We were done with our lab exams so the event demanded a celebration. Housefull was Tej's obvious choice and Krishna and me are really helpless when it comes to princess's choice. :-)


Half awake half asleep still lingering in our semi-clad dreams we boarded the rickshaw. While two of us were as lazy stale as a rotten egg ; Tej was brimming with smile and exuberance. Well no complains that’s how she is Lovely and Jubilant. But sadly the guys accompanying her were the laziest dogs on this earth who loved sleep and IDLEism more than any other practised virtue. We reached E-square just in time [Thank God Dhii realized that we were getting late and shunned her some %tage of adornment]. We entered the screen only to realize that Housefull was really housefull. “Man this is already critical”, I said to Krishna. “Yeah”, he replied back. Finally we took the seats - Tej in between and two drowsy sadist at her either side.

We supposedly entered  a few minutes late.The scene was where Akshay Kumar was trying to  propose Malaika Arora Khan and  ended up doing some real unnatural sorts of behaves with the song "He is a loser " in the back ground. The entire screen was roaring with laughter while I could only utter what a loser movie and more lost was the acting. 

• Acting

Akshay Kumar is as usual monotonous with his so called trying to flint rib-tickling comic acts. Boman Irani had been impressive at some areas while the rest is nothing well appreciating. Ritesh Deshmukh seems a sidelined actor with Lara Dutta trying to support him. Jia Khan looked  good in traditional suit but swim suit – she sucked. The only good looking face was Deepika Padukone who after her trimmed hairs look summer cool and trendy. Arjun Rampal seemed impressive with his so called Hard and tough look.

• Summary

 So, on one hand we can see Akshay, who is acted as a 'loser' trying to win over Deepika Padukone's angry brother Arjun Rampal. On the other hand we can see Riteish and Lara playing husband and wife who are trying to seek respite from Lara's estranged father Boman Irani. Now what is to be seen is how the duo's tryst to convince the relatives leading to happy ending has been compiled with series of hilarious instances in the film. The first Half has useless “hahahaha “ scenes while the second half is better.

N.B After the  first half, I only wished Tej would have taken a little more time to get ready.

• Music 

Music composition in 'Houseful' has been done by Shankar- Ehsaan- Loy which includes re-composing of a popular number 'Apni toh jaise taise' from Amitabh Bachchan's film 'Laawaris'. Mika did bring in a new touch to the track. Nevertheless the track “I don’t know what to do”  and “Loser”  speaks of itself. “Oh Girl you are mine” looks good on screen while “Papa is sleeping” has been quite popular because of it slacky tune it carries with itself. All in all a ok music.

• Cinematography and direction

Spare me people.

• Conclusion

Its a slapstick comedy film involving lots of confusion and error of identities; nevertheless much was expected from Sajid Khan who has been literally claiming from rooftops for weeks now that he has made the year’s biggest blockbuster. Though he has not entirely let us down, you do wish he could have opted for a more innovative plot. Just hang in there for 2 hr 50 mins for some exchange of laughters and if you have kids they are gonna love it.

As far as me and Krishna was concerned really we were sobbing at hearts. But then we had nothing to loose because we had Tej accompanying us. In fact we enjoyed more after the movie but it’s an another tale which require more space and time.

Four Years thence

"Small Moments makes Life big" someone said ; Idon't exactly remember who !!! :P. College makes a man out of you and guess what some one was moving to college. Yeah it was me moving to college. Like any other teenager I had thoughts, I had fancies, i had imaginations. The idea of being in college made me more happy and less homesick. College would mean more freedom; more liberty; and more importantly a whole lot of new chicks. The thoughts lingered in his mind as I was boarding my train. 

The first day in college  - 

We were taken to a round trip MIT campus. "Where the HELL am i  ??" ;  I whispered to myself . It seemed to me a dejavu everytime I loittered around. Physics Department, Chemistry department ; Department of Applied Science..  " What the Fuck ?? "; I whispered to Anurag. [Well seems like i need to introduce someone here - Anurag Sharma, a Petroleum Engineering Undergraduate, the first person i befriended at MIT pune ]  "Its just the beginning bro", he replied with a hint of sarcasm, which i could not get then. [I was pathetic at sarcasm then]. It took me a real one week to get familiar to places. I have'nt been to Jantar Mantar - the famous archtitectural masterpiece at Jaipur and New Delhi. But believe me MIT was no less than it.

After the so called "Knowing The Institution Better" session ;my first day at college[Officially]. The idea of attending a college lecture had kept my spirits high. [Though then i never knew what the word HIGH meant :-P]. I eneterd the class. It was a civil engineering lecture. The class was brimful, and after a close set of inspections i found a third bench for myself. This is after a long time i was heading on a third bench; God i was missing my last bench]. The class had same boring introduction. But then after it began a Discussion  - which was the best and more appreciated Engineering Discipline. The raw set of engineers looped in deep emotions and faith to their discipline. [And perhaps first time i felt how emotional was engineering community of Inida. Wether they get wasted or make the best of it; Engineers worship their discipline] Since it was a civil engineering lecture the voices of civil engineers were a little prominent and loud. The Electronics were a small bunch but with big surprises. and heavy contentions. Computer cult was not difficult to identify; generally the first benchers with heavily numbered glasses and a die-hard committed-to study attitude. They seemed to,in perfect harmony, whispering "Go to hell morons !! We are occupied ". As far as i was concerned i guess i had watched enough of parliamemntal discussions in my early age and i knew what best could have been done. Listen, Hoot and Enjoy and believe me i was a master at  it. :-) .

Mechanical Engineers are said to be one of the most Violent/Dynamic/Reasonable cult. [Well forgive my generosity towards them. Just a personal feeling ]  And they proved it. People werent failing to pitch in their arguments , justifications, explanations. Amdist the near to perferction hew and cry an innocent, dewy-eyed voice struck  my attention. "Sir i guess the mechanical Engineering Discipline is the most important one because we arent anything without machines and this bunch innovates it". "Wow !!! " , I exclaimed there is some girl who rose her voice amidst the set of platoon officers. I was least important in her reasons and justifications.and equally cared less the ramifications for wooing her. I just leaned forward to find out a young girl of my age with innocence adorning her, a purity surrounding her and a mirthfullness reflecting around her. I smiled. [sorry no words to express my smile. Its just a feeling beyond words]. The next 30 minutes i hardly  cared which cult actually wins; as far as i was concerned a voice spoke to me, " Well Anshu you have your first crush there. Cmon man act !! "

Finally the lecture ended like a parliament session in amazement with no conclusion but rather a diplomatic epilogue by the lecturer " Guys we are all equally important" and i could only say , "What a waste ".  Nevertheless i got a reason to attend lectures.  A reason Rise and Shine .. !!

The Mid - Day Post

Past the beautiful meadows, Life was so resurrecting. Lively Beautiful and mirthful. Green leaves, patch of meadows, Birds humming; That earthly smell, Perhaps now i know what is awesome. Events however momentous or insignificant tends to erase themselves from the human mind.

A sharp noise and i realized all i was  doing was dreaming. Perhaps now i know what is a DREAM. A mid-day dream. God I wish what i saw would have been a reality. Life there was so satisfying. There was a song in every heart and if the heart was young it was on lips. There was a sacredness in soul and if te soul was young it was reflecting.

Compared to what i have here, the same set of compnents which now comprises my laptop, The disinteresting cell phone and set of artifacts which i define as LAZINESS. 

Life was much better there. How i wish i never woke up .. !!