The Loss

A friend of mine lost his mom yesterday. I heard about it as soon as I woke up and was left reeling. What shall I do? What am I supposed to do? Shall I call him? Or shall I call his elder sister and ask about whereabouts? What shall I tell them even if I did call? What words and tone do I choose? How might he react? I myself was in a state of shock and remorse and then these questions. I have been crying since morning. I didn’t know if I would be able to talk even if I called him.

And then, I decided to call him, but then I could hardly talk for more than 2 minutes. I didn't want to weaken him anymore. Saying back , “I will call back”, I hung up. And then I thought I would leave him alone for sometime. That might appear rude, yet sometimes the best way to help people in pain is to let them be. Give them time to get over it. His loss is a tragic loss, and nothing I would say can replace the loss.

There is nothing I can do about this, is there? The dead do not come back, no matter how hard we wish they did. Yet I can’t help but want her back. Lots of people die every day, don’t they? Some are wished back and some not, still no one comes back.

And again as I take my hands off my friend’s cell phone number, I wish he hadn’t lost his mom, so that I could help myself from sympathizing with him, so that I could talk to him the way we used to and not feel awkward about it or anything else.

Anyway, the best I could do is: Dear Aunty, you were the best mom my friend could ever have had, and as much as I hope that you hadn’t gone, I sincerely wish that your son would be okay; that he’d have the courage to look after your family and himself too. I only hope he’d be happy again”