[ Aside ]

Spending Sunday evening under a moonlight is not the best thing to do. Not because moonlights are not serene but just for the matter of fact that moonlights reminded him more of her. Her smiling thought was no more comforting. He was irritated with the world. He was disgusted with his own society that had played a quite an authoritative role in his formation. All his life he barely understood what love was and now that he realized, denial is at his doorstep. He can still recollect how his denial once prevented him from self confrontation; and now that he accepted, everyone else denied. Her presence once made him feel so secure and cheerful. Damn this game of acceptance and denial. They are tricky, very tricky. 

What should he do? He wants to resist her thought, resist her portrayal. Suddenly weekends seems a curse to him. Weekdays are better, at least he is buried deep inside his survival shell. What should he do with these damn weekends. How should he get rid of Saturdays and Sundays. He wished he could veneer himself from his own quivery thoughts. May be a drink can help. But only a single drink helps, a couple of pegs just triggers his weakest corner that feels strongest for her. May be he should plan out some self engagement programs. May be he should hang out more with his friends.

Should he should join some classes, may be some GMAT and CAT classes. At least the cortex boggling quantitative and verbals should overshadow his fluctuating memories. But then will it really help? Or should he join some NGO. Should he delete all her mails from inbox. May be if not the mail inbox at least the sms inbox. But how is that going to help him.

May be he should just shut up thinking, plug in his iPod, gulp in a vodka shot and go back to sleep.