Sulk ... !!

 

He is at work today. It’s the 5th time in a row and he is walking again to the coffee machine. His peers is finding it strange. He never drank to much of coffee. What was he upto? No one knew . Did he? ; perhaps that again questions his capacity to justify his own notions.

He comes back to his desk; gives his best shot to focus hard on the computer screen. He is expected to do it. But then something is terribly wrong. Something isn't usual. He has this some weird training scheduled in the latter half of the day. He rises up again; take a walk along the bay. One his peer just walks upfront him down the elevator, He smiles, pretends hard to look normal. But perhaps his pretention is trying hard to prevent defying him.He walks downstairs to light a cigarette. This was the 7th since morning. He never smoked too much.

He comes back to home at evening. Restlessness still adorns him. He makes best possible attempt to let it go but it denies every suffice attempt. He is scared. He is eagerly desirous of shedding his current state. He thinks of running away from himself. He tries sleeping;assumes it might help. The ticking sound of clock is hurting him. He cannot sleep. The meager thought of his presence scorns his state of acceptance. "Is this me ??", he thinks. He can feel the grumping noise of crowd mocking him. He wants to shut them up with a thud. He feels like shouting back at the world. He feels like escaping his presence. He tries lighting a joint;moves to the balcony. No way its helpful. He starts sulking. His eyes speaks his sleepless state.They are dim, heavy, red. He just can take the toll. He is not prepared for it. The sulk becomes prominent. But for this baby there is no one to wipe his tears. No one to offer him the warmth. He is pining for the comforting whisper which used to say to him "Its Okay.. I am there for you .. !!"

He is longing for that hand that taught him to walk into the world. He is in pain. He is terribly missing her. He knows it - Time will not heal the wound. It will only Blunt the edge. He lost his mother last week. He can feel it now he has lost the world.