Sulk ... !!

 

He is at work today. It’s the 5th time in a row and he is walking again to the coffee machine. His peers is finding it strange. He never drank to much of coffee. What was he upto? No one knew . Did he? ; perhaps that again questions his capacity to justify his own notions.

He comes back to his desk; gives his best shot to focus hard on the computer screen. He is expected to do it. But then something is terribly wrong. Something isn't usual. He has this some weird training scheduled in the latter half of the day. He rises up again; take a walk along the bay. One his peer just walks upfront him down the elevator, He smiles, pretends hard to look normal. But perhaps his pretention is trying hard to prevent defying him.He walks downstairs to light a cigarette. This was the 7th since morning. He never smoked too much.

He comes back to home at evening. Restlessness still adorns him. He makes best possible attempt to let it go but it denies every suffice attempt. He is scared. He is eagerly desirous of shedding his current state. He thinks of running away from himself. He tries sleeping;assumes it might help. The ticking sound of clock is hurting him. He cannot sleep. The meager thought of his presence scorns his state of acceptance. "Is this me ??", he thinks. He can feel the grumping noise of crowd mocking him. He wants to shut them up with a thud. He feels like shouting back at the world. He feels like escaping his presence. He tries lighting a joint;moves to the balcony. No way its helpful. He starts sulking. His eyes speaks his sleepless state.They are dim, heavy, red. He just can take the toll. He is not prepared for it. The sulk becomes prominent. But for this baby there is no one to wipe his tears. No one to offer him the warmth. He is pining for the comforting whisper which used to say to him "Its Okay.. I am there for you .. !!"

He is longing for that hand that taught him to walk into the world. He is in pain. He is terribly missing her. He knows it - Time will not heal the wound. It will only Blunt the edge. He lost his mother last week. He can feel it now he has lost the world.

Trisha

Desperation/Irritation seeks a blowhole if it really exceeds its Pre-decided quantified proportion but for Trisha it wasn’t really the case. Trisha had been one girl I have known who knew to stay happy irrespective of the situations she was put into. She was one girl I knew who never espoused. But then some bare, abrasive realities of life can move even sterner stuff. She was only a girl who had been here for last 24 years. Just 24 years.

[Ring continues …………………….. ] This is was the 8th time she was calling him. 8th time in last odd 3 minutes. Desperation, Dejection, Irritation ..  probably even she failed to figure out the exact emotion she was gulped in then. This hasn't been the first time he wasn't receiving her call. The service provider's IVRS had irritated her. But she kept trying like a battling pongo patrolling from room to balcony and balcony to room again. She had a presentation to make in the office next day. She cared less..Why.. Perhaps a big question with a simple answer - She Loved him. Restlessness is one human trait that one can hardly blot out. She loved her way beyond excess and more importantly she trusted her more than she did anyone.

It had been 3 years Trisha was in a Relationship. And 3 years I believe is strong enough. For the matter of fact that it had been the longest I have seen a relationship striving through the lowly dusty world where assumption was more practiced than perception. But for the last six month things weren't placid. There had been problems but Trisha knew it; this time it was different. She had been trying to reach him for the last few days. But he never answered. Every night she returned to office with the a cerebration that probably this day he might pick up; but every night she slept with a pain in the heart; a pain that was selfish; a pain that she felt was hard to express;a pain that became strong and audacious with the every passing hour of the dark.

"bbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……………..brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" The vibrating sound of the cell phone did away her sleep. Finally he called. Like a mirthful child she picked up. "trisha, I think we should call it off. take care Bye", he spoke. Before she could reply the call got disconnected. She wanted to speak. . She tried calling him. All that she could get was the IVRS again. She knew it was over but the heart installed inside the human torso just denied to accept. She was standstill. She couldn't move. She tried to speak. Her voice grew weak. She tried to cry but the tears did deny to roll out. She could feel the pain. She could hear her heart beat.."This was all..??", she thought. It took 3 years to build a relationship and not even 3 minutes to blow it all… Is this all love is about… She had questions,she banked her assumptions but now she sought explanations and more importantly she sought HERSELF..